Subtitle: I came. I packed. I paid the fee.
I once tried to pack light. I really did. I made a list. I laid out outfits. I even watched a TED Talk titled “Minimalism: The Joy of Less.” I was inspired. Enlightened. Ready to embrace the carry-on lifestyle.
Then I remembered I’m a Libra.
Packing light requires commitment. It requires decisiveness. It requires leaving behind the third pair of heels “just in case.” And that, my friends, is not who I am.
The Baggage Scale: Humanity’s Great Equalizer
There’s no greater humbler than the airport baggage scale. You can be a CEO, a yoga guru, or a TikTok influencer—but when that number flashes red, we’re all just people who packed too many toiletries.
I’ve tried every trick in the book:
- Wearing my heaviest coat (in 30°C weather)
- Stuffing my laptop into my jacket like a cybernetic kangaroo
- Smiling sweetly and saying, “But it was underweight at home!”
Spoiler: they don’t care.
The Art of the Airport Strip-Down
There’s a special kind of shame in having to open your suitcase in public. You become a one-person yard sale, flinging bras and flip-flops across the floor while muttering, “I swear I packed light this time.”
You start making impossible decisions:
- Do I ditch the hair straightener or the emergency snacks?
- Can I wear three layers of clothing without passing out?
- Is it socially acceptable to carry a beach towel as a scarf?
The Emotional Toll of Baggage Fees
R1,200. That’s how much I paid last time. That’s:
- 6 airport cappuccinos
- 3 neck pillows I’ll never use
- 1 suspiciously cheap massage at the airport spa
And yet, I’ll do it again. Because I refuse to be caught in a foreign country without my favorite hoodie, backup hoodie, and “just-in-case” hoodie.
Packing Tips I’ll Never Follow
- Roll, don’t fold. I roll everything. It still doesn’t fit.
- Stick to a color palette. My palette is chaos.
- Only pack what you’ll wear. I pack for who I want to be, not who I am.
- Weigh your bag at home. I do. Then I add more.
Final Thoughts: It’s Not Me, It’s the Airline
Maybe the problem isn’t my packing. Maybe the problem is airlines and their unrealistic expectations. 23kg? For a whole human’s life in a foreign land? That’s not luggage—that’s a suggestion.
So I say, pack the extra shoes. Bring the full-size shampoo. Live your best overpacked life. Just maybe… bring your credit card too.
